Saturday, May 8, 2021

A Different Mother's Day

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          A Different Mother’s Day 


 

This Mother’s Day, a call, a new DP or a gift won’t do,

Nor would a dinner, a pedicure or her name on the tattoo.

For that can be done for one or maybe a couple more,

But this year gave us mothers that are not countable for sure.

 

The stranger who handed that shaky cup of tea,

‘It will be a long night” he’d said, tapping softly on the knee.

The ward boy who had said a silent prayer for you,

And thanked God while seeing you later make it through.

 

The comforting silence, the tea and tap on the knee,

Were all the branches of the same old tree.

The prayer, the hug, the offered chair and that hesitant tear,

Like a mother handling her child’s anxiety, doubt and fear.

 

The year melted all the barriers and confines,

Motherhood transcended beyond bloodlines.

No gender, no age, not even of the same species,

It made sudden appearances, like some long unfound legacies.

 

Few hands shuttled to feed hundreds every day,

If not a mother, I do not know of anyone who’d do that today.

The resolve to comfort, to care, to heal and to provide,

These invisible mothers were rising from each corner, all sides.

 

I don’t know what would be a good suggestion,

How’d you celebrate this selfless service, care and affection?

How’d you show your gratitude to them, when most couldn’t do?

What words would perfectly say the best ‘Thank You’?                                                                              

This Mother’s Day, let’s open our hearts a bit more,

And be that one who leaves a little mother-like feeling at the core.

In prayers, in wishes, in small deeds of goodness,                           

Let’s remember this newfound light and spread its brightness.

 

Someone left us these memories to cherish,

Now that they’ve started, let’s take it to the finish.

Make that call, lend that hand, do something to ease the pain,

In this parched land, let’s try to be the cloud and bring some rain.

 

Sunday, August 30, 2020

KEEP THEM COMING! 💗




               I’ve not been rising too early, feels like it’s the time to be slow,

And still the days are teeming; there’s a steady gentle flow.

This new found balmy peace and contentment,

Keep them coming!

 

The girl gleamed with pride and dignity; had a new found charm,

Oblivious to the un-threaded brows and the un-waxed arms.

That liberation from stereotypes and this re-infusion of self-worth,

Keep them coming!

 

It melted my heart when Kuhu packed for the helper’s girls,

The jackets, the books, the bag and that string of pearls,

This air of kindness and the warmth of love,

Keep them coming!

 


Joey’s golden coat shines much brightly lately,

The extra hours of love and fetch surely have worked innately,

Such paw-some hours of fun, snuggles and belly rubs,

Keep them coming!

 

They’d brought-in new lives, nursed the old and alleviated the pains,

And now, they walked into the fire, the storm the curse; all this for us again.

Unending gratitude and respect for the Doctors & nurses,

Keep them coming!

 

Deserted roads, splash-less swimming pools and empty jogging tracks in Spring,

Most were away, but for that brightest smile turned up each morning.

A lifetime of gratefulness for each of these resolute Teachers,

Keep them coming!

 


 Instead of being scared, you cared; cheered for the brave, talked out of the stress,

It reflected when you reached out to spread the hope and that awareness.

These ventures of mettle and solicitude, my first born,

Keep them coming. 

 

How loved was that imperfect cake with modest assortments and drinks,

The homely setup, the pajamas, the messy buns and the winks.

Such no-theme, barefaced, crazily joyous celebrations,

Keep them coming. 

 

Friends and family were around more often than ever,

To share, to calm, to heal and to cover was everyone’s endeavor.

That flair for unflinching courage, compassion and commitment.

Keep them coming.

 

This time gave us fears but it brought about the grit,

The bitter weather made us generous and kind; and too firm to submit.

It kept us apart but the hearts reunited.

We valued, we thanked and kept the prayer lamps lighted.

When all this is over, let us not lose these again.

This unearthed solidarity and the restored goodness,

Please keep them coming!     


                                                                             

 





Saturday, June 20, 2020

It connects us all, the Pain!



I had watched 2 of Sushant Singh Rajput’s movies and may have stumbled upon an interview or two. Had never really noticed his infectious smile or his innocent eyes, nor was I aware of the absolute genius he was. Sunday afternoon came with the news of his alleged suicide and thud! I wouldn’t accept it. I could feel my heart sink and the stomach rumble, he was so young and successful and (seemed) happy! To worsen things, in about less than an hour while I was still checking on the information around SSR’s death, my closest friend here called me to inform about a freak accident that had killed her young, successful, father-of-two, nephew. I felt numb. The details I heard kept painting pictures in the mind and kept hurting. And, while the heart was still trying to ease the ache and the migraine was bettering a little, we lost 20 brave soldiers at the country’s northern border. It had become unbearable by then. The throbbing. The heaviness. The choke. I had never met any of those people; I never will.  And yet the loss of their lives stirred something in me that feels like grief. It has been there all through this week.

It was thus that I decided to write this piece down. This is a restoration of sorts. To tell myself, it is Okay! Why do few of us grieve and feel profound sadness for people we do not know or in the wake of a tragedy that has no direct connection to our lives?

We grieve because we are human and have hearts that are capable of feeling a deep connection to other beings and things in life.  We all have our own stories and whether direct or otherwise, we can at times relate. Grief is personal but it is also in its own way universal. Sudden and untimely deaths cause tremendous amounts of distress. In such times, our minds take imaginary trips into realms where it feels like we have lost someone near to us when we read about the deaths of strangers.  So some part of the loss we feel when we learn of death of a stranger has to do with that – the imagined loss. But underneath, even that imagined loss is true loss – subtle but palpable.
Our mind subconsciously but rather instantly establishes correlations to fulfil the need to rationalize; just in case. The ubiquitous cruel practice of favouritism/nepotism that I have seen at various workplaces, my own two children, who are the world to me and the endless stories of ultimate heroism that I have heard while growing up in an armed forces’ household! These were a few parallels that my mind drew in these recent occurrences to connect me to the pain!

We all (middle-aged people) have experienced enough grief – our own and that of the people we are connected to. We know its pull, its wide range of manifestations, its uncontrollable ache and its delicate tenderness.  Although this grief of a stranger’s death feels almost miniscule in relation to the grief we have experienced when we have lost someone close to us, it is undeniable! The reality of the circumstances, the causes and the motives involved, take away a part of our belief. We lose a tiny bit of faith, spirit, and Hope. We lose another layer of naivety. That is the experience of loss. We do lose together!

Sometimes weary of being in the state, I long for moments of ignorance, times of respite from the consistent sadness that can creep into my life the more aware I remain of the world around me. Sometimes I wish for that state of not-knowingness when I imagined that until there was a full-fledged war (which is very unlikely today), no soldier would die; when I believed that nobody would be harmed by someone walking on the road groundlessly; when I was certain that a child was indeed a child in everyone’s eye and hence could not be harmed; when I did not associate teenagers attending a party with possible damage or hurt; and when I trusted that we all were serving our older people better and taking care of one another better.

However, consciously I do not want to go back to that state ever. None of us should. We must discover the pain and work towards preventing the recurrence of the causes. Today, as we lose our fellow humans each day to an appalling disease, we become more aware that each of us is united to our collective group of humans, all 7 billion of us, in ways we can perceive but never fully understand.  Loss is one of the fiercest ties that connect us. Because death and loss weave together this fabric of humanity in which each of us is a vibrant and needed thread, there really can be no death of a stranger!

It largely may appear that most people upon encountering such incidents exhibit other emotions like feelings of anger, resentment, devastation and guilt. Not grief! However, there is more. The anger, devastation, and outrage are much like topsoil; they are easy to see and right there clearly displayed. But, underneath those intensely tangible reactions, though, there is something else.  There is a deep ground of loss.  If we remain focused on the top layers of emotions and never dig deeply down below them, we may not even know that loss is there – that is, in fact, forms the very foundation for all those other experiences and emotions.  This loss deserves to be unearthed and explored.
And when explored, we can use such tragedy to pull us into ever deeper levels of compassion – compassion for parents who lose their children, for children who long for freedom and escape, for the incomplete families of our soldiers, for the harmless introvert at workplace, for the bikers who just wish to feel the wind in the face and for each of us who makes a horrible mistake that affects the lives of others.

The mind keeps going back to the people left behind that must now find a way to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives that will never be the same.  Emotions well up from deep inside knowing that devastated families must now plan funerals for their loved ones and prepare to do the unthinkable; say goodbye.

Tragedy serves as a brutal reminder of our immortality and in reality, life does not come with any guarantees.  Life can be forever changed in one single second and sadly, those changes in life sometimes come without the chance to say goodbye. We grieve because at some level, we know it could have been our own child, spouse, sibling, teammate or friend.
We have no control over some of the tragic things that happen in our own lives nor can we change the horrible and heartbreaking things that happen to strangers that we have never met and will never know. But, we can take a stand and with courage join hands with others in faith and unrelenting hope.  We can fight to bring change. We can take a vow to choose our words carefully and to never leave the house or go to bed mad. We choose to be Kind! Take nothing for granted and appreciate every moment we are blessed to live. We do not know when it will be our last.
Lastly, we can make a promise to ourselves and to those that we love. We can say ‘I love You’ more, hug often and make every moment count.

Love and so many prayers!

💖💖💖

Thursday, March 19, 2020

A Soldier, (not) a Postman!


It is for real. COVID-19 is here and spreading exponentially. We are in a state of war, a war so difficult that the enemy is still not fully known. And thus, we are scrambling for the right weapon.
The good part is, that a valiant soldier is as mighty and as determined even without his obvious weapons. In this state of war, we all have that choice to make. To be that soldier who wears his self-control at all times, who is fit in every way, who has courage – both physical and moral! A soldier concentrates on his job in the face of the greatest danger. A soldier motivates and uplifts his mates. Relays stories of valour from his unit and shares anecdotes of victory. A soldier saves the bad news for the end. Together, they all take stock of the loss at the end and they grieve, together! But till then, they fight. To win.
Today, I  choose to be the Soldier and not merely a Postman. With over 100s of channels and a similar number of websites churning out ceaseless news coverage, update and bulletins on the situation worldwide, why do we re-relay it? With the ease of having endless resources and media, should I not make the choice of using those to share something else instead? Something that my receiver doesn’t feel sorry to receive, something that doesn’t add to the despair and disappointment. Something that doesn’t scare but encourages. Something that’s cohesive and not otherwise. Something that talks about liberating when everything else is limiting! Is there still a thing of beauty in this despair? Of course! Then, let us share, PLEASE!
I resolve to do this. Hereon, the messages I will send will only be to check on friends and family and to wish them good. And importantly, to thank those who’re really fighting bravely every day – the teachers. I am already sharing the ‘Health’ summary after my morning run and it feels fabulous. The next picture will be of my SO’s happy meeting with Joey when he returns home from work. A forwarded message will be of the recipe of that quick snack that the mothers desperately need with the kids at home 24/7 huh! Looking forward to sharing the video of my butterflies and I pull off a near-perfect and smooth Charkasana. I hope to shortly share with my friends a recording of the song – Mahi Ve (Highway); a tough one this song is J. And information/news will be handpicked basis need and urgency. And will be limited to what I believe may not be accessible to my circle (earlier than it is to me).
These times are trying. But not entirely new. Most of us have braved the 2008 recession. We and our families have fought and outlived diseases. We have had restrictions due to natural calamities, war or political situations. We have even grieved but healed ourselves after a death in the family. We have all been outstanding care-givers at one time. Let us draw energy from that past. We have been house-bound, eaten simple home-cooked food, and not socialized much. We have even watched our expenses and rationed essentials. If we won then, we will this time too. These are our tales of victories. Let us remind ourselves of these and share these. Let us resolve to share only that soothes, comforts and heals. We are soldiers, not postmen!

“The only way out is the way through!” – Robert Frost

Friday, March 13, 2020

SERENDIPITY......... :)

"Someday, everything will make perfect sense!" Though a perfect line, this hadn't been making too much sense to me lately. There is just too much chaos, fear and uncertainty around to be able to confidently tell yourself and others around you - that everything happens for a reason. And last week, after it was confirmed that our annual trip to home (India) is cancelled, I accepted. It is for real. The spread is continually increasing. COVID-19 is affecting us all!

This Friday, as we all got together at home in the evening, we kind of re-invented Friday evening. Mall visit wasn't an option and hence there was a plan B. Board games. And through the game, we realised that our younger one could make many more complex words than we thought she could. She was no more a 'Kachha Nimbu' in Pictionary. Wow! Serendipity! Basking in the glory, she showcased another talent of hers - of playing the Flute. And thanks to her, for the first time, I tried my hands on a few notes too :). the Friday dinner had to be special as well, but this time home-cooked. So, Thai Red Curry with fragrant rice it was. Enormous chopping and prepping was involved and everyone pitched in. Yummilicious! We absolutely didn't miss the mall visit. 
The last entire week was of discoveries. The Holi celebrations planned by the Indian community was cancelled and hence Holi felt a little less colourful this year. However, on Monday, on Holi we got talking about Holi. I told the girls all the stories related to the festival. We discussed for hours as one thing led to the other, one festival to another. It felt good. Some really long lost stories, we took help from Google also and relished the most enticing stories. Holi had different colours this time around. It was more personal, just us. And, there were Samosas. Homemade!
The current situation has given us more time. At home. With each other. In this chaos, there is more compassion. The girls are happy to wipe the muddy paw prints as Joey hops around the house excitedly. While organizing her wardrobe with me, the younger one handed out two jackets to be passed on to the househelp's daughter. It warmed my heart. She thought of another girl of her age needing as much care as she was being given. My other girl asked to add one for their family as well when I was ordering a large pack of Handwash liquid.  Amidst the fear, the rapidly changing stats, and the sealing of borders by countries; there lies a chance to be calm, careful, and creative! Getting worked up isn't working and I can say that with experience. It pushes you down. Let us be aware of the developments and let us spread the Positive ones more. 
I was reminded that Spring is already here as a I saw my Jasmine bush in its full bloom :) Summer is around the corner. The virus will perish they're saying, very soon. 

Until then, let us feel safe and happy! The smell of essential oils has grown on me and is going to be daily affair hereon :) The sanitisers are going to remain in the bags and on the tabletops for a long time. Let us read a little more, write a little more. Paint that canvas. Catch up on a few old movies or binge-watch an entire season of Modern Family! Let us try that difficult-but-tempting recipe, let's give our SO a good head massage. Let's spend this summer at home! A different holiday this time around. Let's enjoy this serendipity string! 

Technology is helping us with all that's needed to be done at this moment. Let's do our bit to curb the spread. Let us 'flatten the curve'. 
Namaste!!!

Thursday, February 13, 2020

A Happy Anniversary :)

Celebrating and thanking life for its simplest pleasures!

Today is my (our) wedding anniversary and it's a day that has always been a joyful and happy one!❤❤ Since it's a special day, hence this post. A gift to myself :)

This day has come for the 15th time in my life and has never felt so special. This, as after having been a wife for so long a mother for about 14 years, I realised today that it wouldn't really matter if our Marriage Anniversary would be on the 12th or the 14th of February. or even in any other month for that matter. The date just doesn't matter any more. It is not a day's affair anymore. Our marriage is more like a life partnership.
I tried looking up and a straight translation of the Latin word 'Anniversary' says - 'returning yearly'. And so is my reflection of this event today. It comes every year to remind us of how much love, understanding, respect, patience, laughter and kindness was needed each day to make that one year of togetherness worthwhile.   

As we grow older and move from crown touch-up to the global hair colouring with maximum grey coverage :), life teaches us that it is not about that one specific day or time or occasion. It is the relationship and its growth that counts. As I look back, I am laughing at the times I felt bad that my brand-new husband hadn't brought anything as a Gift. That he didn't take me to the restaurant on my birthday that I would've wanted him to (the poor guy would need God's help to know that). That, he had once asked a subordinate to pick a last-minute gift for me on the anniversary and when I happily opened, it turned out to be a Men's perfume 🙆‍♀️. And that day when he had bought me a dress that made me look too fat (this never-ending love with 'Fat').
As I look back, I see a few such disappointments alongside hundreds of simple joyous moments. With my enhanced mental Maths, I can clearly see the simplest joys outweighing. In fact, it appears that more than on these special days (occasions), the rest of each of the ordinary days had one or the other simple, fundamental Happiness scattered through. 
We and our two butterflies!
A spontaneous hug from my younger one, to a quick mug-cake baked by the elder one, a random note (with a few spelling mistakes) kept under my phone by the younger one to the weekend morning tea in bed made by my SO(significant other), giving belly rub to our little pup to the constant fight between the two girls over who loves me more - these are just a few of the thousands of counts on which life has made me Happy. 

When two people invest in a marriage, the returns are rich and life-long. When there is a genuine partnership, then the special days are not restricted to a few dates. Life gives each couple a chance to reward, to appreciate and to gift each other. Absolutely every single day! I would any day settle for a bowl of cut fruits from my SO over a bunch of red roses. A family barbeque (with the initial struggle of lighting) is any day more enjoyable than a quiet candle-light dinner. Partnering with their dad and getting beaten by the girls in a game of Scrabble beats any romantic outing. A gentle foot massage while watching TV together scores much higher than the best Spa in the city.  

Had to pick up a phone that was given for repair, so was in this neighbourhood mall. Thinking of celebrations, got a quick but nice haircut done, picked up perfume for the SO (it was long due, so utility :) and got a pack of Donuts for the girls. How I love the 'Buy 6 Get 6' offer from Krispy Kreme!

"EACH DAY IS A GIFT. OPEN IT. CELEBRATE IT. ENJOY IT. ❤❤❤❤❤


A Different Mother's Day

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